


From Trump to Kelly

by FantomCEO



Category: FantomFanfic
Genre: 21st Century US Politics RPF, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-13
Updated: 2015-09-13
Packaged: 2018-04-20 16:35:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4794569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FantomCEO/pseuds/FantomCEO
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pretend Relationship between Donald Trump and Megyn Kelly</p>
            </blockquote>





	From Trump to Kelly

President Donald Trump signaled for another cocktail as he settled in for some post-dinner conversation with the only other person at the West Wing dinner table. He dabbed his mouth with an elaborately embroidered White House napkin, complete with the Trump monogram he’d insisted upon. The attendant served his drink and left the room.

Trump’s wife of less than one year cocked an expectant eyebrow. She was even less interested in their sham of a marriage than he, and she wasn’t making it easy for him. If conversation was going to take place, it was up to him to initiate it.

“I’m having designers come in and class this place up,” Trump said.

Former Fox anchor and current first lady of the United States Megyn Kelly didn’t roll her eyes, exactly, but her opinion on the matter was clear all the same. “Class up the White House? You think that’s necessary?”

Trump pointed a finger at her. “You don’t?” It’s white. It’s boring. Some gold; some colors. Maybe some peacocks out front. Somebody was telling me the other day, they said, Donald, the White House, it’s boring. Boooring. And you know, they’re right.” He shrugged, arms spread wide. Discussion over.

Megyn Kelly did roll her eyes this time and as she took a swig of wine she fumed over the ridiculous series of events that led her to this situation.

To the shock of the political classes – and the utter horror of the Republican establishment – Trump rode the campaign season to a resounding victory; bullying, insulting and demeaning his competition in state after state.

One of the milder examples of Trump taking on his opponents took place in South Carolina, when he said Rand Paul looked like Mr. Brady and Rick Astley had a love child who would “always let you down, and do nothing if ISIS beheaded Marsha.”

And then, after it was too late to turn back, the world fell apart. Trump’s Slovenian wife Melania turned out to be an illegal immigrant. The man who built his campaign on anti-immigration rhetoric was now the proud husband of an illegal immigrant and father to a dreaded anchor baby.

Trump, as decisive as ever, wasted little time. He brokered a deal with Spike TV for a week-long prime time reality series covering his divorce proceedings. By early August Melania was a single woman back in Slovenia and Trump was free to once again focus on his campaign.

Of course, he was now a divorced and humiliated hypocrite. Joe Biden was surging in the polls and the Republicans were girding themselves for Obama’s “third term.”  
Then Trump was thrown a lifeline. Ol' Handsy Joe groped a dignitary’s breast (“It was just a poorly coordinated shoulder rub,” he swore), and then – exasperating the matter – hit celebrity attorney Gloria Allread with his motorcade while, per the Washington Post, “fleeing the scene of the scandal.”

Fondlegate offered an opening to the Republicans, and the leadership wasted little time in meeting to strategize on their next move.

“Biden’s numbers with women are plummeting,” GOP Chairman Reince Priebus said. “This is a golden opportunity. We need to bump Trump’s woman-friendly credentials.”

Mitch McConnell slammed a fist against the table. “Damnit all, I told Trump to bring Fiorina onto the ticket. But no, he just had to pick Dennis Rodman! ‘Dennis was killer on The Apprentice,’ he said. ‘He has international diplomatic experience; remember North Korea?,’ he said. Now we’ve missed our chance.”

“I have a suggestion,” said Fox News CEO Roger Ailes as he stepped out from the shadows. “VP might be filled, but there’s a position available for First Lady.”

“Intriguing,” said Priebus. “What are you thinking?”

“We need someone the public sees as a strong, independent woman. A name in her own right. Someone who will to stand up to Trump if he gets out of line.”

“She’ll need to be photogenic,” said McConnell. “And appealing to the conservative base.”

Ailes smiled. “I think I have just the woman.”

The following weeks of negotiations and bullying reached monumental proportions. Getting Megyn Kelly to divorce her husband was…difficult, to say the least. Selling the deal to Trump was only a bit easier, but he wanted to win, and a man so close to the presidency is willing to do a lot.

Selling it to the public as a legitimate relationship was even harder, but thanks to Trump’s good friend and reality-producing mega-mind Mark Burnett they managed to orchestrate a convincing (enough) narrative to sell to the public.

There was skepticism aplenty about the relationship. But it hadn’t mattered. Conservatives loved Megyn from years of Fox News-viewing. Women – or at least enough of them – respected Megyn. Everyone loved the spectacle.

The ‘impromptu’ marriage proposal during the third Trump / Biden debate (which Megyn, of course, accepted from her position in the audience), was a huge ratings hit that many pointed to as the singular point in which Trump nailed the election.

And here they were. Approaching the end of Trump’s first hundred days in office. Still managing to live the lie.

“Are you prepared for the Russians tomorrow,” Megyn asked, already knowing the answer.

“Prepared? Of course I’m prepared. I’m always prepared.”

“So you read the briefs?” Megyn asked.

Trump frowned and opened his arms in another exasperated shrug. “We’re not gonna stand up to those Pushkin pansies by studying, Megyn! Let me tell you something. From the boyars to the tsars to the commissars someone’s always had a boot on the neck of the Russian. And if they don’t know your boot's on their neck, they’ll assume theirs is on yours. Force is all they understand and I’m going to take Putin on in the only way he understands. Strong negotiating skills is what’s going to win this day, not reading a bunch of notes or practicing my pinkie position for tea time.”

Megyn didn’t say anything. What could she – or anyone – say that would change the mind of Donald J Trump? She resigned herself to at least 4 more years of torture.

She needn’t have worried. Moscow nuked DC a week later and the marriage was moot.


End file.
